Oh Happy Day!

I shouldn’t have to hide in my own house. I shouldn’t be accosted when walking through my front door. I shouldn’t have to spend hours listening to a travelling vacuum salesman drone on and on about the Kirby 5000.
But I am hiding. I was accosted. And according to my clock, it’s been almost 2 hours since Vacuum Boy and his fearless leader, Crooked Teeth, entered my house – and it looks like they’re not in any hurry to leave.
This is a short story waiting to be written.

Amy arrived home around 1 in the afternoon only to be greeted by two travelling vacuum salesmen whom had already made themselves a little too comfortable in her home. As she walked through the open front door, a man with astonishingly crooked teeth and a conniving smile extended his hand and boldly declared, “You have really nice carpet. But if you’re going to be buying this house, you need a good vacuum to make sure all the unwanted dirt gets removed. This is really expensive carpet, probably the best out there.”

Amy, confused and annoyed that Crooked Teeth and his sidekick, Vacuum Boy, had taken over her living room, sent a questioning glance toward her roommates direction. Her roommate, the innocent victim in this sad, sad story, smiled and said, “I already told them we weren’t going to buy a vacuum, but they insisted on demonstrating anyways,” she paused. “At least we’ll have a clean carpet.”
True, Amy thought, but she wasn’t convinced that this was such a good idea. Amy is rather skeptical when it comes to salesmen, especially cheesy ones who insist they are “not salesmen.”

“I’m not a salesman,” said Vacuum Boy, the one doing the dirty work. “I’m just trying to change lives and help people live and breathe healthier.” As he was saying this, he was removing pods of dirt from the vacuum and placing them in random locations around the house, specifically, Amy’s desk.
“I’d prefer if you don’t put your dirt piles on my desk. I have allergies and I really don’t want that stuff on my stuff.”
“Well,” piped VB, “I have to save all this to show my boss.”
“Why would your boss need to see this? I don’t get it.”
“He just does.”

At this point, Amy was even more leery of the two creeper salesmen lurking around her house, so she opted to hide out in her bedroom and let the valiant (and tactful) Chelsey deal with the men. Although Amy is easily annoyed, she’s also extremely nosy and curious. Eavesdropping is definitely her thing – along with interrupting other people’s conversations. It’s just something she’s good at.
This would make a great blog, Amy told herself. Thus she began typing the blog to end all blogs. Or at least the blog to distract her from what was really going on in her house.

“Holy cow. Get out of my freaking house. They’ve been here for over 2 hours. These are the most annoying men I have ever come into contact with. Thankfully Chels is good at holding her own, otherwise I’d have to go out there and set these swindlers straight. But for now, I’m hiding out in my room.
How many times does she have to tell him she doesn’t want to buy the Kirby vacuum?
Sounds like Vacuum Boy is an aspiring firefighter. Apparently scamming people out of ridiculous amounts of money is not a fulfilling career. Now he’s playing the sympathy card. I don’t think Chels is going to lose any sleep knowing that VB doesn’t own a Kirby because he can’t afford one, even with his employee discount.
“Doggone money,” said an apathetic Chelsey, “Wish it grew on trees.” Her words were dripping with disdain.”

Just when Amy thought it couldn’t get any worse, ol’ Crooked Teeth came back. Since VB couldn’t sell Chels a vacuum, CT figured he had a better shot. Wrong.
This guy is driving me bananas, Amy thought. And I’m not even in the same stinkin’ room. I can’t sit here and let Chels be harassed by dumb and dumber any longer.
With that, Amy made her way to the kitchen to put a cup in the dishwasher, a mere excuse to walk by CT and give him the eye.

“And what do you think of all this, maam?” questioned Crooked Teeth, a cheesy grin slathered on his face.

Amy knew what she had to do. It was now or never. No more cowering behind closed doors. No more blogging about what she wished she would have done. It was time to live in the present.

“I think that you are really annoying. You’ve been here for way too long and you’re really obnoxious. That’s what I think.”

From there, Chels took care of ridding the ABC house of its evil pursuers. Now the ABC’s can live happily-ever-after, knowing that they have the cleanest carpet this side of Wal*Mart.

Goodbye Medical Records; hello Telephone Receptionista Extraordinaire!

Well MR, it was short-lived. Two weeks to be exact. Can't say that I'll miss you or your charts that never seem to be where they belong or standing for 8 hours. So this is it. Our parting of ways. Until we meet again.

***

I got offered a new position at work. Praise the Lord. I'm going to be training on the front lines (aka answering phones). Normally, I'm not a phone person. But in a professional sense, I thoroughly enjoy answering phones and helping customers. This is a little humorous because a few months ago I interviewed at a staffing agency and the lady told me that since I didn't like to talk on the phone, socially, that she probably wouldn't be able to find me a job that I would enjoy or be good at. Hey Crazy Lady, look at me now!

I'm pretty excited - partially because now I'll be able to sit down and also because I'm going to get to learn and use my brain. I asked S (the administrator) if there are any books or pamphlets I could read to start familiarizing myself with the position, the company as a whole, and the body (in relation to our practice) since I know almost nothing about all of the above. She was rather impressed and even said, "If more people were like you and wanted to read outside of work, this office would run a lot smoother."

On another note, tomorrow I'm driving to Coos Bay to visit my Chelsey and her new apartment. She's only been gone a week, but it's already a little strange without her here. Chelsey, come back! [Chels, if you're reading this, don't actually come back. You need to stay put and allow the Lord to use you to bless your students, coworkers, neighbors, friends, baristas, landlords, etc. As much as Brook and I miss you, I believe the Lord is going to do some pretty rockin' things through you this year.]

Maybe there's more to it than I realized

Minesweeper might quite possibly be the new of love of my life. I just learned how to play. How, you're asking, did I just learn to play Minesweeper when it's been around since Dinosaurs roamed the earth?

Around this time last week, I was sitting in my living room when I got the notion to play Minesweeper, just for kicks. All of a sudden, I had an epiphany - and the purpose of the game became more clear than a lot of things in life. Less than 24 hours ago, I had no clue as to what the numbers in the little squares meant, yet suddenly I was transformed into a Minesweeper-playing machine. And I was good. Really good. Good enough to win a few times in a row.

This has been happening a lot lately - these revelations of sorts. Today I was at our morning meeting at work, when I finally realized that PCP stands for Primary Care Physician.

I think God doesn't want us to be overwhelmed with information, so He only gives us what we can handle. And He occasionally surprises us with new information. That or I'm just really naive and it takes me a lot longer to learn things than everyone else. But I'll stick with the former and take these blessings as they come my way.

Moving on

Today was my magical second day at OSS. I did what I'm best at: filing. Could this job get any better?

About an hour and a half into my work day (which would only prove to be 2.5 hours since I'd already worked 6.25 at the coffee shop), the official boss (S) called me into her office. After asking me about myself, she said something to the effect of: "I think you are highly overqualified for this position." Me? Overqualified for searching for folders and filing papers? No one has ever thought this highly of my qualifications before. Note the sarcasm.

While I agree with her, I love the idea of working monday through friday and being off no later than 5pm. However, I also am concerned that I may get bored.

So S then asks me if I've ever thought about being a Medical Assistant. Ha! Have I ever thought about being a Medical Assistant? I can barely assist myself with my own medical problems (ie. paper cuts, broken fingernails, etc), how on earth would I be able to assist with staples being removed or veins being injected?

Basically what the Medical Assistant position consists of is bringing the patients to their proper rooms, checking blood pressure, height, weight, asking appropriate questions as to what is ailing the patient and giving the doctor a brief synopsis so that they have some idea what is going on when they see the patient. The MA's also assist with post-op stuff, like handing things to doctors.

After much thought, I'd really like to pursue an MA position, but I'm also willing to do just about anything that doesn't involve making coffee or folding clothes. I'm ready to be challenged and I welcome the opportunity to learn and grow as a person.

So for now I'm just waiting to hear back from OSS as to what they've decided to do with me.

Colorado on my mind

Snow-covered mountains
Are filling my mind
Dreams of forever
Just passing the time
Watching the sunrise
Being with you
I know we can get there
If this love is true

I want to go there
I want to sing
Fields of forever
Endless flowing streams
Pack up all that we know
Leave it all behind
I know we can get there
If we drive all night

The sun will be rising
As the stars disappear
Echoes of memories
The view is so clear

This is where we belong
This is where we belong

Everyone else is doing it...

I'm extremely envious of the people writing travel blogs. Oh, how I long to pack my bags, fill up my gas tank, and head out on the open road (and blog about all my exciting, scary, random adventures).

First I would head to Colorado to visit Garden of the Gods among all the other beautiful places Colorado has to offer. Next I'd head north to Montana where my friend Amanda will soon by residing. After experiencing the glory and splendor of the mountainous region of the western United States, I'd suffer through fields of corn and wheat while making the trek to New York to visit Brianna. I couldn't make a trip to the East without seeing New England in the fall. It just wouldn't be right.

Canada would be next on my list. My recent fascination with researching places to visit has led me to discover Banff National Park - a sight which I soon hope to see.

Enough already

This rain is doing nothing for my already dampened mood. The fog has choked out the sun and inevitably, also my optimism. I could sit here and think of a million things I could be, I should be, doing, but instead I'll choose to spend my time on idle daydreams.

I'm wasting away along with the $40,000 my parents donated to the university that did nothing to further my career.

I work at a coffee shop and a children's clothing store. My life amounts to waking up ridiculously early to serve coffee and espresso to overly-pompous, ungrateful people and staying up late to straighten clothes that will soon be unfolded the next morning by careless customers. I find no joy in this.