Stuck in a rut

One of my coworkers told me I need a hobby. Apparently daydreaming does not count. She recommended bird watching, which I quickly declined. Then she asked what kinds of things I like to do. I feel like it's been so long since I've had a hobby that I didn't know what to tell her.

I used to play the guitar daily. I used to draw people pictures and write stories for my friends. I used to drive around, simply to take in the beauty of Ashland and the countryside bordering Talent and Phoenix.

I used to hope. I used to dream. I used to imagine things as they could be. Now I just exist; I get by. There's nothing unique about me. I wake up in the morning, check my e-mail, shower, spend 8 hours working and feeling like I could be doing something more challenging/interesting/creative, occasionally work out, go to church, hang out with friends when time allows. There's no passion in my life. I spend my life going and doing, yet I seem to find myself discontent and bored.

I want to feel passionate about pursuing something I love. I want to find joy in creating, imagining, writing. I want to be exciting. I want to be fun.

How come a year ago at this time, all I wanted was to be working a steady monday through friday, 9 to 5 job w/ weekends off? Now that I have what I thought I wanted, I'm disappointed.

What I really want is to run through a meadow with the wind blowing my hair and the sun warming me to the deepest part of my soul. I want to float in a canoe across a lake. I want to build a campfire and feast on hot dogs and s'mores.

I want to run away. I've never done anything daring or adventurous in my life and I feel that it's high time I took some chances and stopped playing so safe. I don't think God created us to live monotonous lives.

Just friends

Why isn't this getting any easier? Why do I feel as though the distance is creeping in on me, reminding me that we are only going to continue to grow farther apart?