"Your sweet mercy, is the air I want to breathe"

I feel it. This peace washing over me. This longing for the future, but at the same time resting in the present, living in the here and now, smiling sly(ly) because God has subtly been giving me glimpses of an amazing future.

I can't wait to fall in love. I can't wait to feel your strong arms embracing me, holding me, protecting me. I can't wait to surrender this sarcastic facade, this sometimes-dry-sense-of-humor, these fears and insecurities. I can't wait to trade them in for new life that you have promised.

To throw myself, completely, at your mercy. To sit at your feet and be showered with grace and love, with truth and mercy. To watch the sunrise over distant hills, illuminating forests and rivers and fields of wildflowers.

To stay like this, knowing, believing, that this is what the Lord had in mind from the beginning of time. Time will cease to exist in the presence of the one I love.

To only have eyes for you. To see you in everything. To spend time with you in the morning, over a cup of coffee, getting to know the little details that make you unique, the little details that add up to make you simply astounding. To memorize the lines on your face.

To think that you were made for me. You were made so that I could live. So that I might have eternal life. Abundant life. A purpose-driven life.

You were made so that I could live. Truly live.

I was made so that I could love you. I was made so that the world could see your love through me, in my life, revurberating from my thoughts and actions, echoing in canyons and valleys, dancing through fields and prairies, howling with the wintery coastal wind.

To wake up every morning with a smile on my face. Knowing that I can spend the whole day with you. Because you're everywhere. You're everywhere I've been and everywhere I want to be. You're everwhere I'm going and even in places I'll never be.

Your sweet mercy, is the air I want to breathe.

Amen.

"I love anonymity and I love being noticed, just the same as everybody else."

Oh, Caedmon's Call. Your lyrics move me like a gust of Northern coastal California wind. I'm pretty sure I would be a positive addition to your already incredibly gifted band. I would hop on your bandwagon anyday. Backup singer, anyone?

"But ya know I know better, I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothin'.
if the birds and the flowers survive, then I'll make it okay.
Given a chance and a rock; see which one breaks a window.
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day.

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in.
But it's not my job to wait by the phone
For him to call.

Well this day's been crazy, but everything's happened on schedule,
from the rain and the coldTo the drink that I spilled on my shirt.
'Cause You knew how You'd save me before I fell dead in the garden,
And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt.

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace, just to get me to sleep"

Ice cream and unrequited love

I'm eating ice cream and thinking of you. I could stay this way all night if you could promise me things will stay the same. Why is it that we speak in codes? Are we afraid of the things we want to say, but never will? Are we afraid that there might be more to us than we're ready to admit?