You know how we all say we would do anything for God, but then we complain and agonize when things don't seem to be going our way, when we're stuck in, what we consider, a mediocre, unfulfilling job.
For my entire life, I've reassured God (like He really needed my reassurance)that I would do anything and go anywhere that He wanted to send me. Mexico. China. Zimbabwe. Canada. Los Angeles. Call me and I will go. Ha! I've spend the majority of my life wondering if I was outside of God's will because I just didn't seem to be doing big things for the Lord. Why am I still in the Rogue Valley if there are unsaved people in India?
And then today, God spoke SO intensely to me that I could not doubt any longer that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Living in Talent, OR, working 9-5 at a doctors office in Medford, serving at the Ashland Christian Fellowship. God has placed me at Oregon Surgical Specialists for a reason: to save lost souls! How could I have not realized this the first day I got the job a little over a year ago? Why did it take me 365 days of grumbling and complaining, soul searching, agonzing, questioning God, to finally realize that THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR MY LIFE right now. Maybe in a month I'll be somewhere else, but for June 29, 2009, I finally feel like I am where I belong. How refreshing it is to rest in God's plan instead of fretting over fulfilling my own. If God wants me to get my Masters in Teaching - cool. If God wants to hook me up with an amazing husband - I'm ready. If God wants me to keep working at OSS for the next 30 years so that 1 person might be saved - bring it on! I'm up for anything as long as the Lord is behind it.
Lord,
Thank you SO SO SO much for speaking into my life. Thank you for direction and times of searching. Thank you for when my heart is overflowing with joy and love and thank you for the droughts that draw me closer to You.
3 comments:
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