Changing Perspective

We are not invincible, nor have we ever been. Yet we've played the role so well. We've blinded our eyes, covered our ears, opened our mouths. Until now.

There is so much more to see than we've allowed ourselves to take in. There are people hurting, crying, starving, dying. All of this is going on while I sit here trying to come up with a witty Facebook status update.

This is breaking my heart. This is shattering everything I know.

I want to be weak. I want to be vulnerable. I want to feel a burden for the lost. I want to wear the weight of their world on my shoulders.

This leads me to believe there are things I need to cut out of my life. Anything that's in the way of serving and living wholeheartedly, anything that's blinding my eyes to the needs around me, anything that's a waste of time, needs to be removed. I want to be a prayer warrior. I want to have the faith that my prayers will be answered. God will provide!

Waiting...

The hills are littered with snow; my heart, littered with anticipation. You say to be still, to hold steadfast to the truth that I know. The truth is what breaks me.

I feel like my entire life has been a series of cycles and ruts. Summer is no closer now than it was a year ago at this time. I know I'm moving forward, but for what purpose? Yours or mine? When I say, "I want to live for You. Your will be done," I want to mean it with all of my heart. I'm tired of meaningless words and cliche phrases.

Be real in my life. Convict me. Pour out Your Holy Spirit. Let everything I do be a reflection of Your character. Rid me of myself.

What's the point of living if I'm not living for Christ?

The land that I love

I could stand to go home. To sit and watch the rain with you. This great wind couldn't keep me from the land I love. A land of towering, majestic Redwoods and the mighty Pacific Ocean. I could spend my days wandering your rocky shores and meandering through your dense forests.

For now, I'll sit here. Alone with my thoughts. Accompanied by the ferocious wind howling outside. Wishing I could sit here and write all day, but realizing that at this point in my life, writing doesn't pay the bills. It simply gets me through the day.

Poetry in Starbucks - a collection of visible words and not-quite tangible thoughts

Hoping out of bed and thinking about one thing: gifts that unite. From Africa to Africa: gifts from your favorite places. Christmas blend: gifts, but with a purpose. As if the purpose of giving wasn't purpose enough. Shade grown: like the confusion and bitterness that recently started accumulating near the tree in the backyard and also noticeable in parts of my heart.
What you said was true: I do worry too much. I wear worry on my heart and on my sleeve. I hand it out like candy at a Fourth of July parade. It's the stone I'm holding onto; the deathgrip that doesn't want to let go.

Mt Ashland by moonlight

It seems as if all the world should be quietly slumbering, as we sit here on this snow-covered mountain. The fog is hovering above the valley, but we've chosen to rise above it all. We've managed to escape and here we are, you and me and this mountain that welcomes us with open arms. Up here there are no worries, only the stars awaiting the moon's arrival out of the fog. If we stayed here long enough, we could watch the sunrise. Come morning, we'll be long gone and the memory of what was will be as bleak as the view of this mountain from my bedroom window.

Christmas Eve morning

This mountainous region beckons me home. Hills laden with trees. Blue sky that will soon be a canopy of stars. The river, teaming with rapids, flows alongside this highway that will soon lead me to the family that has been anxiously awaiting my arrival all morning.

Broken

I said, break my heart if that's what You have to do. You listened, and that's what You're doing. So why do I keep stuffing these pebbles in my pockets, when You've promised that if I would only empty my hands and stretch out my arms, You would be there, ready to fill the void.

This is where I am.

Broken and broken-hearted. Trying to decipher a meaning for all of this, most importantly, YOUR meaning for this. My arms are open wide, longing for a comforting hug that can only from the Father.

Meet me here tonight, Lord. I desperately need You.